Signing back up with the casting agency isn’t going as well as it did when I was younger

• So, how did the audition go?
• I don’t know, Julie.
• Do you not think you got the part?
• Not at all.
• Why not?
• To be honest, I think I’m too young to get it.
• How old do you have to be to wear glasses?
• I think it was more for hearing aids than glasses and the rest of the ones auditioning were in their seventies at least. I felt like a young one.
• What did you have to do?
• I had to play them my favourite song, and dance to it.
• What did you play?
• Wake me up before you go go.
• That’s not your favourite song.
• Well I could hardly dance to Careless Whisper. Anyway, Idon’t even want the part now.
• Why not?
• I’d rather not be seen on telly as an old fogie dancing to Perry Como.
• Why Perry Como?
• The aul fella in front of me went in on a walking stick and played ‘Magic Moments’.
• Ah, going for the sympathy vote was he?
• Yeah, all the girls were doting on him. What is it with young ones thinking aul lads are cute?
• I don’t know, my Leanne is the same.
• I heard the casting director saying ‘Bless him. He reminds me of my grandad’
• He has it in the bag so, by the sounds of it.
• Definitely.
• I’d love to have seen you dance without a few voddies in you, Bernie.
• Fuck off, I’m scarlet even thinking about it.

Definitely not my most Magic Moment…