Pot Luck

~ Diary of a Dublin housewife
  • Do you want dinner, Jimmy?
  • Nah, you’re alright. I had something in me mas.
  • Your ma cooked?
  • No, Greta did.
  • Wonders will never cease.
  • Leave it out, Bernie.
  • What? You know she’s a lazy wagon.
  • She’s doing a bit more since ma was diagnosed.
  • A bit is right. She only calls in when it suits her.
  • She’s doing her best.
  • Her best? Where was she last week when your ma went walkabout?
  • She hardly went walkabout, she went to SuperValu.
  • We were out looking for her for hours, and not a sign of Greta.
  • I know.
  • And what about the day your ma put her knickers on the hob to boil? Greta was supposed to be there that day, and not a sign of her.
  • She said she forgot it was her day with ma.
  • She’s getting as forgetful as your ma, she’s never around when she’s supposed to be.
  • Well, she was there today.
  • Rita said the kitchen was like an Ibiza foam party when she got there.
  • Don’t mind Rita, you know what an exaggerator she is.
  • Well if she hadn’t called when she did, your mas knickers would have been burnt to the pot.
  • Enough about me mas underwear, Bernie.
  • Ok, ok, keep your knickers on.’Scuse the pun. Anyway what did Greta make for dinner?
  • Coddle. Very nice it was too.
  • Coddle? Seriously? What pot did she use?
  • The big one with the two handles, the one ma always used. She’s had it since we were kids. She cooked everything in it ; stews, hams, coddles…
  • Knickers
  • What?
  • That’s the pot your ma boiled her knickers in.
  • You’re messing, Bernie.
  • I’m not. I bet Greta didn’t know either.
  • You’re loving this, aren’t you?
  • It is a bit funny, Jimmy.
  • No it’s not, I feel sick.
  • I bet Grets will be feeling pants too when I tell her.
  • Stop it.
  • Did she make dessert?
  • No
  • Just as well I kept some for you then.
  • I couldn’t face food at the moment Bernie.
  • Aww, and I made your favourite, knickerbocker glory
  • You’re hilarious Bernie.

10 thoughts on “Pot Luck”

    1. I never had dessert for him, I was just winding him up. And auntie Marilyn told me that Jimmy’s ma always washed her knickers in that pot. None of them knew that, and they always went on about her amazing dinners. ‘No one can make a stew like my ma’ he used to say.
      Now I believe him, lol. Gretta nearly got sick when she heard.

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