- What are you up to today, Bernie?
- I’m going home to do my knitting, ma.
- You? knitting? Don’t make me laugh.
- What’s so funny?
- You don’t knit.
- Yes I do.
- Since when?
- Since I took it up last month.
- And you’ve kept it up for a month?
- Yeah, why would you think I wouldn’t?
- Because I remember the last time you took up a pair of knitting needles, and it didn’t end well.
- Don’t you be listening to Bernard, I never stuck them in him, I…
- What?
- What?
- I was talking about the blue cardigan you started in 1976, and never finished… What are you talking about?
- Nothing.
- Did you stab your brother with a knitting needle?
- Don’t be silly, ma.
- I always wondered how he got that mark on his bum.
- Don’t look at me.
- He was only eight, Bernie.
- I was only ten, he was trying to unravel my sleeve.
- So you did do it?
- Bernard wasn’t always a saint ma; did he tell you I stabbed him in the bum?
- No, he said he fell on my knitting basket.
- Oh, right. ( so he was always a saint then)
- If I’d known it was you that did it, I’d have lathered you.
- I know you would have, that’s why I warned him…
- Jesus Mary and Holy saint Joseph, you stab your brother then put the fear of god into him.
- No I didn’t.
- Poor child couldn’t sit down for weeks.
- Bless him.
I wonder if it’s my fault that Bernard is so holy ( and no, I don’t mean his bum! 😛 )
Diary of a Dublin Housewife 
A Bernie you’re cruel to put the bejesus up your poor brother! By the way you reminded me of my Mum …she always said “Jesus, Mary and Joseph ” when angry or stressed. Bless I miss her.💜
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Poor brother my arse, or should I say his arse 🤣🤣🤣
Aww im sure you do miss your mam. I think all irish mammies have the sane sayings…including me 😂
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I actually admire you,I had three older sisters and two older brothers who teased me awful! I wish I’d been brave enough to jabb them with a knitting needle. As for Irish Mammies my mum was from Oxford, it was my Da that was a Dublin man. He met my mum and caused a stir, her family disowned her for a few years. Anyway she became a Catholic and became more an Irish mammie than any Irish mammie God bless her. She did have a saying for everything.
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Heeheehee! Brothers deserve it, at least, most of the time they do.
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Deffo 😛
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I burst out laughing when I read this: Because I remember the last time you took up a pair of knitting needles, and it didn’t end well.
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My younger brother Steve teased the hell out of me all with a big grin on his face. He deserved everything he got from me lol. Alas when we became teens and I had him on the ground pounding me, he swung up with a fist and got me in the eye and I saw stars. After that I stopped pounding him.
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He’d have got a fist back from me, and he’d have seen more than stars 🤣
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LOL!
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Let’s try that again, I had him on the ground pounding HIM when he swung up and got me in the eye. After that we didn’t fight anymore.
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I smiled at this story. We ALL have stories like this from our youth. I have a twin brother… He pestered me all the time.
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I laughed out loud at the “What?” followed by “What?” 🙂
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I was caught good and proper 🤣🤣🤣
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