• What are you up to today, Bernie?
  • I’m going home to do my knitting, ma.
  • You? knitting? Don’t make me laugh.
  • What’s so funny?
  • You don’t knit.
  • Yes I do.
  • Since when?
  • Since I took it up last month.
  • And you’ve kept it up for a month?
  • Yeah, why would you think I wouldn’t?
  • Because I remember the last time you took up a pair of knitting needles, and it didn’t end well.
  • Don’t you be listening to Bernard, I never stuck them in him, I…
  • What?
  • What?
  • I was talking about the blue cardigan you started in 1976, and never finished… What are you talking about?
  • Nothing.
  • Did you stab your brother with a knitting needle?
  • Don’t be silly, ma.
  • I always wondered how he got that mark on his bum.
  • Don’t look at me.
  • He was only eight, Bernie.
  • I was only ten, he was trying to unravel my sleeve.
  • So you did do it?
  • Bernard wasn’t always a saint ma; did he tell you I stabbed him in the bum?
  • No, he said he fell on my knitting basket.
  • Oh, right. ( so he was always a saint then)
  • If I’d known it was you that did it, I’d have lathered you.
  • I know you would have, that’s why I warned him…
  • Jesus Mary and Holy saint Joseph, you stab your brother then put the fear of god into him.
  • No I didn’t.
  • Poor child couldn’t sit down for weeks.
  • Bless him.

I wonder if it’s my fault that Bernard is so holy ( and no, I don’t mean his bum! 😛 )

13 thoughts on “Knitting

  1. A Bernie you’re cruel to put the bejesus up your poor brother! By the way you reminded me of my Mum …she always said “Jesus, Mary and Joseph ” when angry or stressed. Bless I miss her.💜

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I actually admire you,I had three older sisters and two older brothers who teased me awful! I wish I’d been brave enough to jabb them with a knitting needle. As for Irish Mammies my mum was from Oxford, it was my Da that was a Dublin man. He met my mum and caused a stir, her family disowned her for a few years. Anyway she became a Catholic and became more an Irish mammie than any Irish mammie God bless her. She did have a saying for everything.


  2. My younger brother Steve teased the hell out of me all with a big grin on his face. He deserved everything he got from me lol. Alas when we became teens and I had him on the ground pounding me, he swung up with a fist and got me in the eye and I saw stars. After that I stopped pounding him.

    Liked by 1 person

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