I’ve been trying to get ma to get out of the house for weeks now. She had a bit of a fall last month and is terrified of going out.  She’s on the list for a knee replacement. She won’t budge  outside except for her hospital appointments. We’ve all been taking turns  doing her shopping and her cooking. Jimmy called in to see her this morning while I was getting me hair done.

• Good morning Margaret
• There y’are James
• So how are we feeling today?
• I don’t know about you but I’m on me way out
• Ah that’s great
• What’s great about it?
• It’s great that you’re going out. A bit of air will do you good.
• I mean on me way out as in I won’t be here much longer
• So where are you off to then?
• Off to join himself on the other side
• What, in to visit Tommy next door? Are you and him having a bit of a thing then?
• You know exactly what I mean James Violet so stop your messing
• You just need to get out a bit more love. Bernie said you haven’t been out in months
• I was out last week. I have a gammy knee you know
• Where did you go?
• To the hospital
• Now that’s what I call living on the edge. A day at the hospital. Very exciting
• Arthritis isn’t funny you know
• Who’s laughing Margaret
• I’ll go out when I get my new knee
• But you can still walk with the one you have
• Not very well. It’s very painful
• But if you’re on your way out, isn’t that a waste of a knee?
• Shut up and go put the kettle on
• Will do Margaret. Two cups of Rosie Lee coming right up. Have you any biscuits?
• I don’t know. Have a look in the tin. I haven’t a clue what’s in my own cupboards, since everyone else started doing me shopping
• Well why don’t you go out and do your own shopping again?
• I think I’ll have to. sure I don’t know what they do be buying at all
• How about I bring you when we have this cup of tea?
• Ah no, Philomena said she’ll go for me
• I thought you were fed up with other people doing your shopping?
• It’s just until I have me operation
• God knows when that will be, sure you can’t stay cooped up here until then
• I’m just nervous going out
• What’s to be nervous of. Sure you won’t be on your own
• What if I collapse when I’m out?
• I’ll catch you
• Ah no, I’ll wait until next week
• You’ll be the same next week. Come on, live dangerously. Lets go to the supermarket
• I don’t know Jimmy
• What happened James? You’re getting a bit too familiar all of a sudden Maisie
• I think it’s going to rain
• No it’s not. It’s a lovely day out. Come on. I’ll buy you an ice cream afterwards
• Well…
• Come on, Dunnes is only five minutes away. You’ll be grand. I’ll park near the door
• I prefer Super Valu
• Super Valu it is so, and we can buy some cakes. There’s fuck all in your goodie drawer
• I didn’t even know I had a goodie drawer. I always only had a biscuit tin
• Well there’s fuck all in that either
• I don’t know who eat’s it all. I really don’t
• The mind boggles Margaret, it really does
• There’s a sale on in Homestore And More
• Is there? I’m delighted for them I’m sure
• I wouldn’t mind buying a few new towels
• Sure you’ve loads of towels up in the hotpress
• Get my coat from under the stairs James while I put on some lipstick.
• What about me tea?
• Leave the tea ’til we get home
• Jaysis, what have I let meself in for?
• Come on will you, before I change my mind
• I’ll just ring Bernie to tell her to meet us. She’ll be delighted to see you out and about
• It’s only the feckin’ shops for Gods sake. Don’t be making a big deal of it
• Still…one small step for mankind and all that Margaret.
• Home Store and More James…and don’t spare the horses

There’ll be no stopping her now  😉