• What do you want for your dinner ma?
• I’m easy Bernie. What would you like?
• Chicken
• Ah I’ve had chicken twice this week. I don’t want chicken
• Lamb chops?
• I can’t chew them without me teeth Bernie
• Well put your teeth in then
• Me gums are too sore
• For fuck sake
• WHAT?
• WOULD YOU LIKE A STEAK?
• Ah sure that’s worse than chops
• How about a nice stew?
• I’ve never been a fan of stew
• Spaghetti Bolognese then
• I can never manage that spaghetti stuff, it keeps falling off me fork
• I’ll cut it up for you
• Ah ,I’m not  mad about mince anyway
• It’s a good feed of bleedin’ starvation you need
• WHAT?
• I MUST REMEMBER TO BUY CARROTS AND SWEDE
• There’s some in the vegetable rack
• How about a nice piece of fish?
• It’s not Friday
• You can eat fish any day ma. It doesn’t have to be Friday
• I only like fish of a Friday
• I’m running out of options here ma. It’s not a bleedin’t restaurant ye know
• Maybe I’ll just have a nice chicken breast and a few chips
• But you just said you didn’t…oh never mind, chicken it is so
• Lovely Bernie
• In future you’ll just eat what your given
• WHAT?
• I’M JUST GOING TO THE SHOPS TO BUY THE CHICKEN

I swear I’m losing the will to live here lads  😦