Day one at Chez Maisie. I’ve had to bring in the big guns… A supply of vodka, chocolate and earplugs. Wish me luck lads 😉
- I’m here ma
- There y’are Bernie. What’s in the bags?
- Just a few bits ma
- Are you moving in or what?
- I am in me eye. I’m only here for a few nights
- You look armed and dangerous
- You’d better believe it. I need to be, staying with you
- What?
- I’M JUST GOING UP TO THE LOO
- Put your bags up in your room while your at it. I don’t want to be tripping over them. I’ll break me neck
- No fear of that
- WHAT?
- DO YOU NEED THE TELLY AS LOUD AS THAT?
- I can’t hear it
- Have you not got your hearing aid in?
- What?
- YOUR HEARING AID
- What about it?
- PUT IT IN. THE WHOLE NEIGHBOURHOOD CAN HEAR YOUR TELLY
- Ah let them shag off. I’ve to listen to their dogs barking all night
- How can you hear their dogs barking if you can’t hear me ?
- Oh yes I’d love a cup of tea
- I’ll put the kettle on
- I thought you were going to the loo
- I’ll put the kettle on first
- Don’t forget to move them bags from the hall
- I won’t forget
- You know how unsteady I am on me feet. I could trip over them
- So you said
- WHAT?
- ILL PUT THEM UP ON MY BED
- I’ll have a biscuit with my tea. Do we have any biscuits Bernie?
- I’m sure we have
- Did you put that kettle on yet?
- It’s on
- BERNADETTE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT IN THAT KITCHEN? DON’T FORGET THE BISCUITS. I’LL HAVE A CUSTARD CREAM…HAVE WE ANY JAFFA CAKES?
- I’m not fucking deaf
- WHAT DID YOU SAY?I CAN’T HEAR YOU
- Well I can bleedin’ hear you. Mrs. O’Reilly at the bottom of the road can hear you for fuck sake
- WHAT?
- DO YOU WANT A PIECE OF CAKE?
- WHAT?
- Jaysis I need a drink already
- WHAT?
- I SAID THE TEA IS NEARLY READY
Is it too early to have a stiff drink? 😦
If she won’t put her hearing aids in, it’s not too early.
LikeLike
Aww she’s melting my head already Mimi. I wish I had hearing aids myself. I’d take them out so I don’t have to listen to her :p
LikeLiked by 1 person
That was funny! Yes time for a drink!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
More than one I think…haha
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your mom saying the rest of the neighborhood could listen to their TV since she has to hear their dogs made me laugh so hard! 😀 Have fun and lots of booze.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And people wonder why I drink??? :p
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah yes; TEA……..the cradle of all civilization….but it might not be enough!! Good Luck with Ma!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Funny! This made me think of conversations between my grandmother and grandfather when they were in their 80’s and couldn’t hear each other.
Cheryl
<a href="https://pluckingofmyheartstrings.com"
LikeLike
April is going to be a riot. My mum isn’t deaf but she is getting forgetful so sometimes we have the same conversation several times in an hour… but other times she’s a bit too sharp and she catches me out
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah for feck sake they’re all the same aren’t they? I’ve a pain in me arse repeating meself.
LikeLike
Oy, never a dull moment! I am trying to picture your accent, I’m sure I’d love it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Have you not heard a Dublin accent? Where are you from?
LikeLike
Hey I tried commenting on your blog but it wouldn’t let me. Love your brownie recipe with avocados. See you tomorrow for letter B. I’ll try commenting again. xxx
LikeLike
You know it’s bad when you crave a drink in the morning already 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
A daily occurrence when living with ma 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahahaha…
LikeLiked by 1 person
You brought vodka, right? That’s an all-day beverage, right there. At breakfast? Just mix in some orange juice! Vodka with lunch: mix with diet cola, or toss it in a milkshake if you’re treating yourself. On particularly rough days, just keep it in a sports bottle with some lemon slices – nobody can tell it’s not water, right?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m right in front of you love. Jelly shots in the fridge for dessert as we speak 😉 ‘There’s no flies on you’ as me ma says 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
HAHA! I have only just seen these, so now I havve lots of catching up to do! I am in for a fun time thats for sure!
Conversations with my mum are just like this too, Bernie! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey Judy, sorry only getting on here after a hectic Easter Weekend.. I need detox, but hey no rest for me…back to mother hens!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
HA! Sounds manic! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person