Planning permission

P (1)

  • He’s gettin’ plannin’ permission alright
  • Who?
  • Christy Byrne
  • Oh right ye, sure didn’t I tell ye. What’s he buildin’?
  • A granny flat
  • I thought his granny died years ago
  • No, for Imelda’s ma
  • Jaysis, is her ma dat old?
  • I think she’s nearly seventy nine
  • you think?
  • O.K. she’s seventy nine in July
  • How do you know?
  • I met Imelda when I was out joggin’
  • She came out and saw you reading the sign in the garden you mean
  • She did ye, I was scarleh. I had to pretend I was stoppin’ to catch me breath
  • Ye feckin’ eejit.
  • Shurrup. Anyway, I’ve every right to read it. That’s what it’s there for
  • Well why are ye makin’ excuses to Imelda then?
  • I dunno, I didn’ want her to tink I was just bein’ a nosey cow
  • Ye are a nosey cow Bernie. So is he buildin’ over the garage as well or wha’?
  • Fuck off Jimmy. No, they’re  only converting the garage, paving the garden in concrete and gettin’ a wheelchair ramp and handrails.
  • Jaysis. Did they win the lotto?
  • Imelda said they’re gettin’ a grant from the council
  • Why is her ma movin’ in? I remember Eileen, she was always a very independent woman
  • She had a fall last month and had to have her hip done. She can’t live on her own any more, so Christy’s doin’ the garage up for her
  • Poor Christy
  • Why?
  • Havin’ the mother in law livin’ wit him
  • I think that’s lovely. Maybe we’ll do de same for my ma
  • Ah now hold on Bernie
  • What’s wrong wit my ma?
  • How long have ye got Ber?

He’s such a little bolix sometimes!

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Overlooked

O (1)

 

 

  • He could be buildin’ anything Jimmy
  • Who?
  • Christy
  • Are you still on about tha’?
  • I hope he doesn’t build a huge monstrosity
  • Hardly Bernie, for just him and Imelda?
  • Ye never know with some people
  • It’s probably just a downstairs bathroom or somethin’
  • As long as it doesn’t block out our light
  • He lives around de corner Bernie
  • But, what if he builds on top of his garage
  • Then you’ll have to buy a bleedin’ bus timetable won’ ye Bernie
  • Fuck off, it’s not only not bein’ able to see de bus comin’
  • What den?
  • He’ll be able to see into our garden
  • He can see in already
  • He can only see one side, he can’t see over de lilac tree
  • …and what’s de difference if he sees over de lilac tree
  • It’s where I sunbathe Jimmy. It’s me little haven, and he’ll be blockin’ out me light
  • Ye don’t even know if he’s buildin’ anything yet Ber, will ye stop jumpin’ te conclusions
  • But de sign is up for plannin’ permission
  • Well go and look at it and find out what it is he’s buildin’
  • I was doin’ dat yesterday and ye called me a nosey bitch
  • …and dat’s what stopped ye is it?
  • Well, no. Me ma rang and kept me on de phone for ages, ye know what she’s like when she gets started. It was dark out by the time she shurrup talkin’ and I wouldn’t have been able to read the sign if I’d gone around.
  • So go today
  • I am, I’m goin’ for a jog after breakfast. I’ll go slow past Christy’s
  • Poor Christy
  • Poor Christy me arse. I want to see what he’s up to. There’s no way I’m bein’ overlooked Jimmy
  • God forbid Bernie…God forbid!