I bumped into Danny De Vito on the way back from the shops. Well actually, I was passing his house and he was in his garden hanging the star of Bethlehem on his pergola. I was trying not to make eye contact but he ran out when he saw me. Hello there. Bernie isn't it? … Continue reading Neighbourhood watch
Author: Diary of a Dublin housewife
It’s beginning to look a lot like…
Put the kettle on, Bernie, I'm wrecked. The shops are mayhem out there. Why are people buying so much? Where are they putting it all? They're like lunatics. You'd swear there was a food shortage. It's the same every Christmas. People just go mad. Sure you were the worst. Buying tins of Roses in September. … Continue reading It’s beginning to look a lot like…
Flare for fashion
I met me pal Lynda downtown. Hey Lynn. You on your own? Yeah, Tony's gone shopping. Seriously? Since when does Tony go shopping? Since always. No way. Aldi or Lidl? Feck off Bernie, he doesn't do the food shop. You mean he goes clothes shopping? And you let him? He's a grown man, Bernie. He … Continue reading Flare for fashion
Cool to be kind
Did you know today is International be kind day? I'm kind everyday, Kylie. You think? Are you saying I'm not kind to people? Not to everyone. Seriously? I'm a nice person. Not always. When was I not kind? When you called that woman a dozy bitch in the car park on Saturday. When you waved … Continue reading Cool to be kind
Clairvoyanto
(I'm reblogging this because Lyn wants me to go see another medium. She thinks ma might visit. Ill let you know…) Me pal Lynn persuaded me to go see a medium who was doing open readings in a pub. We got free tickets so I went along for the craic. Ma was dying to know … Continue reading Clairvoyanto
Ahhh Bisto
I'm just off to get my nails done, Jimmy. Again? What do you mean again? You only got them done a few weeks ago. Yeah, so I need them done again. They can't be much use in that saloon if you've to go so often. It's called a salon. It's a nail bar not a … Continue reading Ahhh Bisto
Retirement
Men! And hello to you too Lynn. Howya Bernie. Whats up? Him. What's wrong now? He's getting on my nerves. I'll put the kettle on. Why did he have to retire? Well, in fairness, he's been working since he was fourteen, Lynn. I know, but I can't take much more of it. It's like when … Continue reading Retirement
Fur coat, no knickers
Why are you wearing granny's fur coat ma? Because it's freezing out. You hate that coat. I'm only hanging out the washing in it, not going to the National concert hall. How did it even get here? I wore it home from grannies house last night. You actually went out in public in me grannies … Continue reading Fur coat, no knickers
Objection
Just been watching Christmas ads on telly for a certain mens aftershave and remembered this 😆 Why is she not in work? She took a week off for jury duty. I never saw any letter from the courts. There wasn't one. Why? Well, it's not normal jury duty. What is it then? The Johnny Depp … Continue reading Objection
Love is blind
I over heard this conversation on the bus this morning. Don't you just love a bit of eavesdropping? I saw Ray this morning. Ah lovely, how is he? Not right in the head if you ask me. Why do you say that? He's back with your woman. He is not. He is. He told me. … Continue reading Love is blind
Diary of a Dublin Housewife 