Do you want dinner, Jimmy? Nah, you're alright. I had something in me mas. Your ma cooked? No, Greta did. Wonders will never cease. Leave it out, Bernie. What? You know she's a lazy wagon. She's doing a bit more since ma was diagnosed. A bit is right. She only calls in when it suits … Continue reading Pot Luck
Author: Diary of a Dublin housewife
Toilet humour
Who's been using the good hand towels? What? The good towels in the downstairs loo. I don't know. Did you just wash your hands in there? Yeah. And did you dry them? Of course. And what towel did you use? The one on the rail. Fuck sake, Jimmy? What now? How many times? Use the … Continue reading Toilet humour
Viva la vida
Did you see that fella with his girlfriend caught on camera at the Coldplay concert? Who? Some CEO, having it off with a work colleague. The big eejit The cheating fecker is married with kids. He was caught on the kiss cam. What a gobshite. I know, the dirtbag. Imagine carrying on like that. Yeah, … Continue reading Viva la vida
Men…oh…men
I've done that washing up for you, Bernie. For me? Yeah, I just said. Why is it for me? So you don't have to do it. But did you not do it for yourself? What do you mean? I'm not the only one who had dinner. I cooked it, but it wasn't just for me. … Continue reading Men…oh…men
Dodgy Box
Howya Sandra, long time no see. Hey Bernie, hows tricks? Grand. Same shite different day. You know yourself. How's Tony? Grand. Retired now. Getting on my nerves. Oh tell me about it. Oh is Jimmy retired too? Yeah. I started tai chi classes just to get out of the house. Tai chi? How's that going … Continue reading Dodgy Box
Hiding in plain sight
Get away from the window, Bernie. I'm just looking. Oh feck, he caught me. He's staring over Jimmy. Well, stop waving at him for Gods sake. What else should I do? Stop looking. It's my window. I'll look out if I like. You're getting more like your mother everyday. Thanks. What if he was a … Continue reading Hiding in plain sight
the Angel Gabrielle, out of reach
Granny, are you coming to my Nativity? Of course I am pet. I wouldn't miss it for the world. I have a very important part. Brilliant, tell me more. I'm the angel Gabrielle. Gabriel you mean. No granny. I'm a girl so I'm Gabrielle. My mammy loves Gabrielle. Gabrielle is not an angel, pet. She's … Continue reading the Angel Gabrielle, out of reach
Rockin’ around the Christmas tree.
What are you doing,Jimmy? What does it look like I'm doing? I'm putting the lights on the tree. They don't go on that way. What way? Round and round. And what other way would they go? Up and down. We never put them up and down. We always go round and round. I put them … Continue reading Rockin’ around the Christmas tree.
Silent Witness
So, Jimmy thinks I've finally lost the plot... Bernie, I'm up on a roof, it looks like snow and I need to finish here today. I don't have time for your conspiracy theories. It's not a conspiracy theory, Jimmy. I think Danny is under police protection. Stop calling him Danny will you. But it's his … Continue reading Silent Witness
Deck The Halls
Two weeks to Christmas and not a ball hanging. It was time to snap out of it and get in the festive spirit. Julie came over to help me. I don't think I'll be giving Danny De Vito a run for his money. Who you talking about, Bernie? That new chap across the road. His … Continue reading Deck The Halls
Diary of a Dublin Housewife 