Rome or India?For what?A break away.Oh lovely, but you know I can't go anywhere until the end of June.I meant on my own.On your own? Seriously?Yeah, why not.You hate being on your own.No I don't.You get koko to sleep with you when I stay over in my mas.That's just because we want to watch our … Continue reading Eat pray love
See some poor young one ended up in hospital because she held her farts in for too long.Why would she hold her farts in?She didn't want to let one off in front of her new boyfriend.Could she not do it when she wasn't with him?Surely she wasn't with him 24/7?She could leave the room when … Continue reading Farts #Bloggingfromatoz
Is this it,Jimmy?What?Life.What do you mean?Get up, get washed, get dressed, have breakfast, hoover the stairs. Same shite everyday.You don't hoover the stairs everyday.You know what I mean. Housework, cooking, cleaning. It's all I do.You go to the supermarket.Be still my beating heart.What do you want to do?I want a bit of excitement before I … Continue reading Dreams of an everyday housewife.
census night and Jimmy is not being very helpful.
Ma, can you look after Beyoncè? Ive to bring Jay -Z to the hospital. What happened him this time?He fell in the yard in school, split his knee.Again? Its a wonder that child has a pair of trousers to his name.I think he'll need stitches, again.Holy mother of divine, that child's had enough stitches to … Continue reading Bionic
So, Jimmy came home early from work. Delighted so I was, for about five minutes... Are you done for the day, Jimmy? Yeah, thank god, we got that job finished at last. That's great, so you can get started here. I told Marian I'd pop up and do that bit of painting for her Marian … Continue reading April Fool
What kept you,Bernie? I had to drop in to Jimmy's ma on the way. For what? Jimmy asked me to check on her because he got delayed in work and won't get there until after lunch. How is she? She's not too bad. I just made her a cup of tea and a sandwich. Where … Continue reading Torn between two mothers
I don't know who's worse sometimes, Jimmy or me ma 🙄 Your ma rang when you were out,Bernie What did she want?Just a chat I think. She was going on about one of her dead friends.Who?Betty Brown.She hasn't got a friend called Betty Brown.Oh, maybe it was Betty Black, I dunno. Died a dew days … Continue reading Golden Gee
Wouldn't it wear you out all the same, Bernie?What,ma?Winter.It would.Dark days, darker nights.The cold and rain.January is the worst, it's never ending.It's a whole season in itself.It'd put years on you. Will it ever end?What,January, Bernie.It's February,ma.Is it?The 7th.You just get so used to January, you forget other months exist.Well, its over since last Monday.Thanks … Continue reading In my heart it’s spring…
Jimmy's ma is getting more forgetful lately. Howya, Lily.Who are you?I'm Bernie.Jack's sister?No, Jimmy's wife.Jimmy?Your son, James. James is in London working. He's home.Since when?1985.No one told me.He's just putting the kettle on.I'd better get his room ready.No need, Lily.But his bed is not made.Have a cuppa first, then I'll help you.If that young one … Continue reading Remember me