Im rehashing an old one lads, sorry about that but I haven’t had a minute all week to get my AtoZ up to speed, but I know you love ma when she gets going 🤣

Anyway, you know ma loves a good funeral story.Well, she had plenty to say when I told her about Jimmy’s mate, Frugal Frankie who died.

• Another double glazed widow then Bernie
• What’s that ma?
• A double glaze widow? Bury their husbands of a Monday, get the builders in of a Tuesday
• That’s terrible ma.
• Well, some of them wait a bit longer, they don’t like the neighbours talking.
• I think you make these stories up ma.
• As true as I’m sitting here Bernie, I’m telling you. As soon as the husband dies, they get the entire house double glazed because they weren’t allowed when they were alive.
• Weren’t allowed? We’re not living in the fifties ma
• You’ve no idea Bernie. Not everyone is as lucky as you.
• Maybe it was like that in your era ma, but not now.
• What are you talking about? Sure haven’t you just told me that Frankie’s missus getting a complete makeover on the house soon…and him only a few hours under the ground.
• That’s one person ma…ONE.
• …and what about Rita Burke in number nineteen? Attic conversion a month after Johnny kicked the bucket.
• She needed the room for the grand kids when her daughter moved in with her ma.
• …and Eileen Dunne around the corner. The hearse had hardly pulled away from the house when she had a new front door and a cobble lock driveway.
• Stop exaggerating ma.
• No exaggeration at all Bernie…and she had no one moving in with her except her fancy man.
• Ma, stoppit.
• You’re very naive Bernadette.
• ..and you just love making up stories about the neighbours.
• Then there’s Maura Whatsername in the cul de sac. Didn’t Jimmy put in a new kitchen for her  a week after her fella died.
• It wasn’t a week ma.
• How long was it then?
• About a month.
• See! I told you Bernie. You mark my words, that Valerie woman will be ordering a new conservatory and booking a world cruise in no time.
• Actually Jimmy is calling around this week to give her an estimate.
• Holy god, she’s quick off the mark isn’t she, Bernie?
• She is ma. Frankie is only dead a week.
• She’s wasting no time spending the insurance money is she?
• Well by all accounts, he was a miserable bastard. He wouldn’t spend Christmas.
• So, she’ll be making up for all them years of penny pinching.
• Poor cow all the same. I’d hate to be married to a mean man.
• Nothing worse than a tight arse Bernie.

Maisie talks some shite at the best of times, but I think she’s right about this one lads.