Widows windows.

Im rehashing an old one lads, sorry about that but I haven’t had a minute all week to get my AtoZ up to speed, but I know you love ma when she gets going 🤣

Anyway, you know ma loves a good funeral story.Well, she had plenty to say when I told her about Jimmy’s mate, Frugal Frankie who died.

  • Another double glazed widow then Bernie
  • What’s that ma?
  • A double glaze widow? Bury their husbands of a Monday, get the builders in of a Tuesday
  • That’s terrible ma.
  • Well, some of them wait a bit longer, they don’t like the neighbours talking.
  • I think you make these stories up ma.
  • As true as I’m sitting here Bernie, I’m telling you. As soon as the husband dies, they get the entire house double glazed because they weren’t allowed when they were alive.
  • Weren’t allowed? We’re not living in the fifties ma
  • You’ve no idea Bernie. Not everyone is as lucky as you.
  • Maybe it was like that in your era ma, but not now.
  • What are you talking about? Sure haven’t you just told me that Frankie’s missus getting a complete makeover on the house soon…and him only a few hours under the ground.
  • That’s one person ma…ONE.
  • …and what about Rita Burke in number nineteen? Attic conversion a month after Johnny kicked the bucket.
  • She needed the room for the grand kids when her daughter moved in with her ma.
  • …and Eileen Dunne around the corner. The hearse had hardly pulled away from the house when she had a new front door and a cobble lock driveway.
  • Stop exaggerating ma.
  • No exaggeration at all Bernie…and she had no one moving in with her except her fancy man.
  • Ma, stoppit.
  • You’re very naive Bernadette.
  • ..and you just love making up stories about the neighbours.
  • Then there’s Maura Whatsername in the cul de sac. Didn’t Jimmy put in a new kitchen for her  a week after her fella died.
  • It wasn’t a week ma.
  • How long was it then?
  • About a month.
  • See! I told you Bernie. You mark my words, that Valerie woman will be ordering a new conservatory and booking a world cruise in no time.
  • Actually Jimmy is calling around this week to give her an estimate.
  • Holy god, she’s quick off the mark isn’t she, Bernie?
  • She is ma. Frankie is only dead a week.
  • She’s wasting no time spending the insurance money is she?
  • Well by all accounts, he was a miserable bastard. He wouldn’t spend Christmas.
  • So, she’ll be making up for all them years of penny pinching.
  • Poor cow all the same. I’d hate to be married to a mean man.
  • Nothing worse than a tight arse Bernie.

Maisie talks some shite at the best of times, but I think she’s right about this one lads.

14 thoughts on “Widows windows.

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