That time we made the emergency dash to the hospital, I forgot to mention it was a false alarm…again. The third one in a week. Jimmy was not amused at all.

I thought she said her waters broke?

She did, but they didn’t.

How did she get that wrong?

She just peed her pants a bit and she panicked.

Like she had wind on Friday and thought it was contractions? Like she had constipation last Tuesday and thought the baby was blocked in. Like her arse is some kind of a parking space.

It’s her first baby, Jimmy. Give her a break. She’s a bag of nerves.

Like mother like daughter.

I wasn’t that bad.

I made so many trips to that maternity hospital when you were pregnant with the twins, that they were going to give me my own bed.

Stop exaggerating.

Twice a month from the time you did your first pregnancy test.

They told me I could go into early labour.

Not at two months, Bernie. You were like the boy who cried wolf, you were lucky they let you in when you actually did go into labour.

No thanks to you. I could have had the twins on the toilet of the pub because of you.

I was watching the match, Bernie. I thought you were having them Toni Braxtons again.

Braxton Hicks, Jimmy.

Well, all’s well that ends well. You got there safely. I caught the end of the match in the nurses canteen and was with you when the kids were born. It was a win win for everyone.

Delighted it all worked out for you,Jimmy.


10 thoughts on “Kids.

  1. Lol what can I say, you are so funny I love your blogs. mine manage to avoid all three of our lads births….
    Mind you he did save number one’s life by asking a passing nurse ” should he be this colour blue ” so occasionally they have their momets ….I’ll keep him…
    For now 💜💜

    Liked by 1 person

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