• You’ve gone mad on the veg again Bernie.
• Have I?
• Carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, parsnips.
• They’re good for you.
• I’ll be farting in Technicolor after this lot
• Don’t you always?
• Did you forget the peas?
• You don’t like garden peas.
• I like a few Yasser marrow fats.
• I haven’t time to be steeping marrowfat peas Jimmy
• But they’re me favourite Bernie, and you never cook them.
• I just forget that’s all.
• Me ma always has  mushy peas for me.
• Feck off . You’re like a child.
• Well, she does.
• Your ma is great.
• Stop being sarcastic.
• Well shut up always telling me how your ma is better than me.
• I’ve never said that.
• Well you imply it.
• It’s all in your mind Bernie.
• Is it, well why don’t you pop on down to Lily of the valley for some mushy peas.
• I told you not to keep calling her that, Bernie.
• Ah feck off, she calls me worse than that.
• No she doesn’t.
• Eh, yeah she does.
• Speaking of being like a child; How old are you?
• Old enough to keep out of your aul ones way.
• Would you not try getting on with her, Bernie?
• Thirty years of trying to get on with that woman is more than enough,Jimmy. I’ve done my time.
•  I’ll  drop in to see her after dinner.
• She’ll be delighted to have you all to herself.
• Grow up, Bernie.
• You know it’s the truth.
• Jaysis, all I wanted was a few mushy peas. You find any reason at all to start on me ma.

He doesn’t even notice that he’s the one who starts it.