Lily of the valley. #AprilAtoZ


  • You’ve gone mad on the veg again Bernie.
  • Have I?
  • Carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, parsnips.
  • They’re good for you.
  • I’ll be farting in Technicolor after this lot
  • Don’t you always?
  • Did you forget the peas?
  • You don’t like garden peas.
  • I like a few Yasser marrow fats.
  • I haven’t time to be steeping marrowfat peas Jimmy
  • But they’re me favourite Bernie, and you never cook them.
  • I just forget that’s all.
  • Me ma always has  mushy peas for me.
  • Feck off . You’re like a child.
  • Well, she does.
  • Your ma is great.
  • Stop being sarcastic.
  • Well shut up always telling me how your ma is better than me.
  • I’ve never said that.
  • Well you imply it.
  • It’s all in your mind Bernie.
  • Is it, well why don’t you pop on down to Lily of the valley for some mushy peas.
  • I told you not to keep calling her that, Bernie.
  • Ah feck off, she calls me worse than that.
  • No she doesn’t.
  • Eh, yeah she does.
  • Speaking of being like a child; How old are you?
  • Old enough to keep out of your aul ones way.
  • Would you not try getting on with her, Bernie?
  • Thirty years of trying to get on with that woman is more than enough,Jimmy. I’ve done my time.
  •  I’ll  drop in to see her after dinner.
  • She’ll be delighted to have you all to herself.
  • Grow up, Bernie.
  • You know it’s the truth.
  • Jaysis, all I wanted was a few mushy peas. You find any reason at all to start on me ma.

He doesn’t even notice that he’s the one who starts it.

2 thoughts on “Lily of the valley. #AprilAtoZ

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