Karma

K

Some people say karma is a bitch but I like her, she’s always been good to me; Especially where Bridget Campion is concerned.I should have recognised her straight away. she was always a skinny bitch in school, and a wagon to me. She thought she was better than the rest of us just because her Da had his own shop and she always had crisps and sweets for her lunch when the rest of us had to make do with the corned beef or cheese sandwiches and a bottle of milk provided by the school.When I was fourteen I was going out with a fella called Joey Flynn. Well when I say going out I mean we walked home from school together sometimes and we went to the pictures once or twice and had a snog in the back row. Bridget fancied Joey and was mad jealous that I was with him. During the summer holidays Joey got a job in Mr. Campions shop. I’m sure Bridget had something to do with that. I didn’t see much of Joey  then because he was always working.When we went back to school in September him and Bridget were going out together.  She was always hanging out of him and giving me smug smirks  whenever they passed me. I didn’t give a shite, I fancied Richie Doran by then, and he was much better looking than Joey. Bridget was welcome to him. They went out together for about three months. Joey dumped her after he got a job in Dunnes stores packing shelves at the weekends. Bridget left our school after the junior cert and I never saw her again…until I walked down the aisle with Jimmy at Julies wedding…

  • Have we met before?
  • We have
  • ..and you are?
  • The maid of honour
  • I meant your name
  • Bernie
  • Bernadette Rose. How did I not recognise you?
  • Maybe you should wear your glasses. I didn’t recognise you myself without your bottle tops
  • I haven’t worn glasses in years. I had lazer eye surgery
  • You must have been delighted to get rid of the bi focals
  • They were hardly bi focals
  • Whatever you say Bridge
  • It’s Bridget
  • And I’m Bernie. Only me granny calls me Bernadette
  • I didn’t know you knew the Violet family
  • I don’t. I’m Julies best friend
  • I’m Jimmy’s girlfriend
  • Delighted for you Bridge
  • Is your boyfriend here?
  • I don’t have one…yet
  • It must be hard to meet ‘mister right’ at your age
  • I’m twenty one love
  • Oh really? I thought you were older
  • Yes really, and I thought you were Rays auntie
  • That’s a bit rude
  • Ah sorry, it’s just the hat is covering most of your face love
  • It’s the fashion
  • You’re so lucky
  • Being able to afford the latest fashions you mean?
  • No, I mean being able to wear a hat like that, I’d never be that brave
  • Well, it didn’t stop you wearing THAT bridesmaid dress
  • It is a bit revealing isn’t it? But it’s what Julie wanted
  • A BIT is an understatement
  • I’ve always been well endowed Bridge. What can I say?
  • ..and if I remember correctly, you were always of the ‘If you’ve got it flaunt it brigade’.
  • Pity you never ‘had it’ to become a member Bridge
  • There’s more to life than cleavage Bernadette
  • True Bridge, true. By the way did you see Joey Flynn on the news lately?
  • Yes, he’s doing very well for himself isn’t he? I hear he’s opening a new  shopping centre in Wicklow this year.
  • He must have picked up the  retail bug working for your da all them years ago.
  • Dad was always good to him, not that he appreciated it
  • Aww yeah, I remember he broke up with you after he went to Dunnes Stores.
  • Did he? I don’t remember, it was so long ago
  • Still, he’s happily married now. She’s a lovely girl, my cousin Barbara
  • Barbara Flynn is your cousin?
  • She is.
  • You had such a large family, I could never keep up with them
  • Speaking of family, we’d better get going. The photographer is calling us for the family photo.
  • But, you’re not family
  • I’m as good as, Bridge
  • What do you mean?
  • Well me and Julie have always been like sisters
  • Oh yes, yes of course. I misunderstood
  • Did you Bridge? Anyway. See you later. Lets go Jimmy.

Cartoon-Bride-and-Groom-Clipart

Poor Bridge, she never stood a chance   🙂

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5 thoughts on “Karma

  1. Reblogged this on dublinhousewife and commented:

    I met Bridgie in House of Fraser this morning buying a hat for a wedding…the same wedding I’m going to in August. Am I forever destined to bump into her at weddings? She’s still an aul wagon and she hasn’t forgiven me for ‘stealing’ her Jimmy. The bleedin’ cheek of her…and I was so looking forward to the day out. We’d better not be sitting at the same table! I thought I’d repost this to cheer meself up. 🙂

    Like

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