Overeating #AtoZChallenge

I’m very behind on this Ato Z challenge this month. I don’t have a minute to meself, and then Carmel asks me to go to weight watchers with her. I’m hardly obese but I said I’d go to support her. She hates going on her own because that bean pole Audrey who runs the class is a pain in the arse. She doesn’t like me because I don’t take it seriously enough and I love to wind her up.

O

 

  • Good morning Bernie
  • Morning Audrey
  • So how did you get on this week?
  • Great.
  • Have you been watching what you eat?
  • I have.
  • Well you haven’t lost any weight this week.
  • I’m not surprised.
  • Why’s that.
  • Because I watch what I eat alright.
  • How do you mean?
  • I watch  the burgers and chips, I watch the pizzas, I watch the steak and onions. I watch it all, just before it goes into my mouth.
  • That’s not what I meant when I said watch what you eat. You need to eat more fruit and salads.
  • I will Audrey, no problem.
  • And maybe cut down on the booze.
  • Who are you, me ma?
  • I’m trying to help you here Bernie.
  • Whatever Audrey.

 

Would you be bothered really?

 

Coddle

C (1)

  • DINNER’S READY
  • Lovely jubbly. I’m starvin’ ma
  • Grab a bowl there hun
  • What is it?
  • Coddle
  • Ah Ma, ye know I don’t  like coddle
  • Since when?
  • Since always
  • Gerraway ou’ve dat, you always ate coddle, ye loved it
  • I did not. I was never a fan of boiled sausages
  • ..and yer only tellin’ me now? Well I’m sorry for ye
  • But I’m starvin’
  • Well,eat up den
  • Is der nuttin else?
  • No, der isn’t. D’you think I’ve nuttin better te do but make two dinners everyday?
  • Well, I’m not eatin’ dat
  • Grand, more for yer da so
  • What about me ? What’ll I eat?
  • Eat yer shoe for all I care
  • Well give us a bowl of it den
  • No, too late. Ye said ye didn’t like me coddle, ye hurt me feelins’ so now ye can go and feck off
  • Ah don’t be like dat ma. It’s not your coddle I don’t like, it’s coddle in general
  • No problem. I won’t be makin’ it for ye again
  • So what’ll I have?
  • I told ye, I don’t give a shite. Now, excuse me while me and yer da have ours will ye
  • Maybe I’ll have pizza
  • Knock yerself out
  • Put one on for me ma will ye
  • Would you ever get de boat. If you want pizza, put it on yerself
  • Jaysis, ye wouldn’t want te be starvin’ round here
  • Don’t get cheeky with me miss, yer dinner was made and ye turned yer nose up at it
  • Jaysis, ye can’t open yer mouth around here, go on den I’ll have de coddle
  • Too late, yer da is havin’ it…JIMMY…YER DINNER IS POURED

 

coddle