McGregor coinI’ve heard it all now


They’re talkin’ about puttin’ McGregors face on the euro coin

Who is?

Them gobshites up in Dáil Éireann

Fuck off Jimmy, are ye serious?

Deadly serious Bernie

Wouldn’t ye think that the year that’s in it, they’d be puttin’ Padraig Pearse or James Connolly on it

It’s a loada me bolix Ber

They haven’t a bleedin’ clue have they?

Sittin’ on their holes up in Leinster House after their Christmas holliers wonderin’ how to piss of the Irish public yet again

I wonder what bright spark came up with that idea?

They received a public petition

…and they’re takin’ it serious like? Who de fuck would take that serious?

Enda bleedin’ Kenny after a feed of pints and whiskey chasers in the Dáil bar I’d say

He’s some bleedin’ stockin’

Jaysis Ber. All them brave young men who died for this country in 1916 and they think a young fella who won a medal for a 13 second fight should go on  a coin to celebrate the centenary

They must be takin’ the piss Jimmy

No disrespect to McGregor or anything Ber. He’s a grand chap and he did well in Vegas but it really is takin’ the piss

Would his head even fit on it Jimmy?

It is quite big Bernie

Next you’ll be tellin’ me that Dustin the turkey is goin’ on the two euro coin

Nothin’ would surprise me anymore Ber… Nothin’.

Sure isn’t Leinster house full of turkeys making stupid decisions

True story Ber. True story




13 Seconds


My jaysis Richard look at de state of you. Did you not go to bed at all?

I told ye I was stayin’ up for de McGregor  fight ma

Oh right. Well how did it go?

13 seconds

What d’ye mean 13 seconds?

He knocked Aldo out in 13 seconds

13 seconds? You paid 20 euro  to watch a fight that only lasted 13 seconds?

Well I didn’t know he was gonna knock him out in 13 seconds did I ? He’s a hard bastard

Imagine de poor sods who paid 500 euro in Vegas. They must be hoppin’

They don’t give a shite. A few of de lads from work went. They said it’s buzzin’

All that money tho’ for flights and Hotels too, for a 13 second fight

Ah they did the twelve pubs of Vegas too. They were hammered

You must have had a right skinful yourself, look at de bleedin’ head on ye

Ah me and de lads just had a few beers  watchin’ the pre fights

A few me arse. You’d want to shut dem eyes before ye bleed to death

Ah stop ma, me head is bangin’ Are you doin’ a fry up? I need some soakage

I suppose ye want de works?

Ye, I’d eat a cows arse through a hedge with no salt

I’ve no cows, will rashers and sausages do?

Sound ma, and some white puddin’ and beans…and a dippy egg and fried bread

So was de 13 seconds worth it then?

I missed it

Ye what?

Ye, I went out to de jax and when I got back it was all over

Ah for fuck sake, talk about money down de toilet

Oh yeah, don’t forget  de white puddin’ ma


Kids… Dey just don’t give a fuck !