Health is wealth #AtoZChallenge

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Day seven of my non diet and I’m afraid to stand on the scales. I went around to me mas to get away from all the Easter chocolate in my gaff…

  • A diet? A diet? You’re on a diet?
  • Don’t keep saying it ma
  • Why are you on a diet?
  • Just for the craic, why do you think?
  • You don’t need to lose weight Bernie
  • Me arse is the size of Galway Bay ma
  • Indeed it’s not, who told you that?
  • No one, I have a mirror
  • Well, you need to get a new mirror. Turn around and let me see
  • Can you not see it from there ma?
  • Wait until I put me glasses on
  • You don’t need glasses to see my arse
  • I think you’re just buying the wrong clothes Bernie
  • What do you mean?
  • The pockets on them jeans aren’t very flattering, they just draw your eye to the area
  • So you admit my arse looks huge
  • It’s not actually huge, but…
  • Jesus thanks ma
  • Look aren’t you healthy? That’s the main thing
  • Yeah, I feel great, you’ve made me feel soooooo much better ma
  • Your health is your wealth Bernie
  • I’d rather be healthy with a smaller arse
  • Don’t be silly Bernie, now go put the kettle on and I’ll open one of my Easter eggs.
  • Jaysis, is there no end to the bleedin’ Easter Eggs? Easter was a week ago and the eggs are everywhere, it’s like they’re following me
  • I thought you loved chocolate Bernie
  • Yeah I do ma, that’s the problem. I came here to get away from it. I thought yours would be all gone
  • Ah no, I still have eight left
  • Eight? Jaysis how many did you get?
  • Twelve. All the grand kids bought me one, and the gays bought me one, and Leonard bought me one, and….
  • Ok. Ok. I get the picture ma
  • Come on Bernie, a little bit won’t do you any harm
  • So everyone keeps saying, but try telling that to my backside ma

 

I’m not going near her again until all them eggs are eaten

 

 

 

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