Weight not want not #AprilAtoZChallenge

W

  • Where are you off to today Bernie?
  • Shopping with Julie
  • Again?I predict the smell the credit card melting
  • I’m not buying anything; we’re just looking
  • Are you not well?
  • I’m buying nothing until I lose weight
  • You must have lost some weight by now.
  • Don’t start with me Jimmy
  • You’re the one eating sneaky rasher sambos and big Macs
  • ONE rasher sandwich, and ONE big Mac, Jesus make me feel guilty why don’t you
  • You’re the one complaining about not losing weight, and I’m sick of this diet. How long are you…sorry WE on it
  • Too bleedin’ long, and anyway, don’t be getting all judgemental with me, I know you’ve been down eating dinners in your mas, then coming back here for your salad
  • A man can’t survive on lettuce alone
  • Well I’m expected to
  • Well you’re obviously wasting your time
  • Thanks very much for the vote of confidence
  • Anyway, you don’t need to lose weight
  • Nothing fits me Jimmy. I feel huge
  • You’re not huge
  • All of my clothes are tight on me
  • So buy bigger clothes…or stop with the sneaky rasher sambos
  • Are you looking for a slap in the head?
  • What?
  • I don’t want to buy bigger clothes. I want to fit into the ones I have
  • They look fine on you
  • They do not! They make me look like an elephant…and if you mention that rasher sandwich again I swear I’ll swing for you
  • It’s all in your mind Bernie, you look the same as you always do
  • So you’re saying I always look fat?
  • You don’t look fat
  • You see me everyday, so you don’t notice
  • I notice that you’re grand just the way you are

I don’t know whether to hit him or hug him!

😡😡😡

April goals and Alcoholliers #AtoZChallenge

A

Ok so as well as doing the AtoZ Challenge this month I’m also on a mission to lose weight before me alcoholliers. I could be fighting a losing battle because I get no encouragement from anyone in this gaff…

 

  • JIMMY!!
  • What?
  • What time is it?
  • It’s half past twelve
  • Well why does it say ten past eleven on these scales?
  • You’re standing on a weighing scales Bernie, not a bleedin’ clock
  • There’s a clock built into it
  • Who told you that?
  • Jason did when he bought it for me
  • Don’t be minding that fella, he’d say mass
  • But look it says 11.10 on the screen
  • That’s your weight Bernie…not the time
  • I’ve never been eleven stone in my life the bleedin’ cheek of you
  • Don’t blame me
  • I’ll kill that Jason fella
  • He didn’t eat cream cakes and chips Bernie, you did
  • Why would he even buy me a weighing scales anyway?
  • Because he asked you what you wanted for your birthday and you said, to lose weight, he was only being supportive
  • Supportive me hole
  • Well you know what to do now don’t you
  • I haven’t had a chip since last Friday…or a cream cake
  • Think on the positive side Bernie
  • What’s to be positive about?. I’m the size of an elephant
  • Well, it could be ten past eleven and you could be twelve and a half stone
  • Shurrup Jimmy!

scales