The Brady Bunch


  • Howya ma
  • Ah Rick, should you not be 35,ooo feet in the air? Is somethin’ wrong?
  • Nothin’ wrong  ma, I’m on the way to Lyon
  • Who’s Leon?
  • No, Lyon, in France
  • I thought you were in Lille? Are you not supposed to be on the same flight as your da?
  • I was but now I’m not
  • Why not? Don’t tell me you were locked and missed the flight ye big eejit
  • I didn’t miss it, I’m just not gettin’ it. I told ye I’m goin’ to Lyon for the match on Sunday
  • I thought you were back in work on Monday? You’ll lose your job over this
  • It’s cool, sure half the country will be off work on Monday, includin’ Decco
  • If you lose this job I’ll bleedin’ kill ye
  • I wont lose me job, relax will ye ma. I can’t miss this match
  • Why?
  • Karma ma, karma
  • What about karma?
  • Remember the hand of Thierry Henry?
  • Will I ever forget?
  • Well it’s payback time now, and karma is my bitch
  • Jaysis, calm down will ye son
  •  I thought it was all over for us ma but then Robbie Brady did the business. Jaysis, the  place went wild. How could we not go?
  • What are yis now, the Brady bunch?
  • Nice one ma..I’ll tell the lads that
  • So how are ye gettin’ to this place Lyon?
  • We met a few lads from Ballybough. They have a van, said we can hop in with them
  • And what about gettin’ home? That’s a waste of a ticket now. It’ll cost you a fortune for another one
  • Actually that’s why I’m ringin’ ma
  • I knew it. You only ever ring when you’re lookin’ for money
  • I’ll pay ye back ma
  • I heard that one before
  • And what if they win on Sunday? What then?
  • Ah that’s a whole other ball game ma
  • This is Italia 90 all over again
  • How?
  • Yer da went to Italy for the world cup for five days and didn’t come home for three weeks
  • Brilliant, it must be in the blood ma
  • WEll it wasn’t brilliant back home mindin’ three kids on me own
  • Where is da anyway? Is he home yet?
  • No, he’ll be home this afternoon
  • Are ye sure ma?
  • What d’ye mean?
  • Nothin’, listen I’d better go ma, me battery is goin’ flat
  • Rick, is your da on the flight?
  • I can’t hear ye ma, coverage is shite
  • I can’t hear ye ma, we’re in a tunnel, Just lodge the few bob to me account will ye… Thanks ma, love ye, bye, bye, bye, bye
  • Hello, hello, Rick, can ye hear me now? Hello, hello…


13 Seconds


My jaysis Richard look at de state of you. Did you not go to bed at all?

I told ye I was stayin’ up for de McGregor  fight ma

Oh right. Well how did it go?

13 seconds

What d’ye mean 13 seconds?

He knocked Aldo out in 13 seconds

13 seconds? You paid 20 euro  to watch a fight that only lasted 13 seconds?

Well I didn’t know he was gonna knock him out in 13 seconds did I ? He’s a hard bastard

Imagine de poor sods who paid 500 euro in Vegas. They must be hoppin’

They don’t give a shite. A few of de lads from work went. They said it’s buzzin’

All that money tho’ for flights and Hotels too, for a 13 second fight

Ah they did the twelve pubs of Vegas too. They were hammered

You must have had a right skinful yourself, look at de bleedin’ head on ye

Ah me and de lads just had a few beers  watchin’ the pre fights

A few me arse. You’d want to shut dem eyes before ye bleed to death

Ah stop ma, me head is bangin’ Are you doin’ a fry up? I need some soakage

I suppose ye want de works?

Ye, I’d eat a cows arse through a hedge with no salt

I’ve no cows, will rashers and sausages do?

Sound ma, and some white puddin’ and beans…and a dippy egg and fried bread

So was de 13 seconds worth it then?

I missed it

Ye what?

Ye, I went out to de jax and when I got back it was all over

Ah for fuck sake, talk about money down de toilet

Oh yeah, don’t forget  de white puddin’ ma


Kids… Dey just don’t give a fuck !