You only live once #AtoZChallenge

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  • What’s with  the  spinning around the kitchen in your nightdress Bernie?
  • I’m practicing
  • For what?
  • I’ve signed up for a new class with Julie
  • What class needs  leg warmers and sweat bands?All you’re short of is a pair of skates
  • Roller blades Jimmy, no one skates anymore
  • Don’t tell me you’re taking up roller blading?
  • Give over Jimmy, can you see me roller blading down the avenue?
  • Hmmmmm…that’s not what Koko said
  • I’ll bleedin’ kill her…
  • You were like a bag of cats the other day, moaning about your weight and now you’re all spinny and happy,what’s happened to change your mind?
  • I just realized how lucky I am
  • Sure haven’t I been telling you that since you married me
  • Feck off Jimmy
  • You hate it when I’m right Bernie
  • No I don’t…well actually yeah I do but that’s beside the point
  • So what IS your point then?
  • We’re both very lucky Jim; We have a lovely home, a lovely family…well mostly lovely, when they’re not getting on me nerves like. We’re not short of a few bob. We don’t have much to complain about
  • Except you and your bloody diet
  • I’ve a pain in me hoop with bloody dieting
  • Does this mean you’re…sorry WE’RE ditching the diet?
  • Yeah. I never really stuck to it anyway Jimmy…and don’t mention the Big Mac!
  • I wasn’t going to say anything, I’m just delighted you’ve come to your senses at last
  • This doesn’t mean we’ll be eating shite all the time now Jimmy. We’re also lucky to be reasonably healthy, and I want to keep it that way. You only live once and life is too short to be miserable
  • And you’ve been miserable for weeks Bernie
  • So have you!
  • Only because of the rabbit food you were making me eat
  • No more rabbit food
  • Deadly; but you’re right, we are lucky, we have more than a lot of people
  • And we have each other ….big arses and all…
  • Here you, speak for yourself, there’s nothing wrong with my arse
  • I’m sure I’ll see worse tomorrow
  • I haven’t a scoobie what your on about Ber
  • My new class…with Julie. Do you be even listening to me Jimmy?
  • I’m too hungry Ber. Here, I’ll make us a fry up to celebrate the end of the diet. I’d eat a cows arse through a hedge at this moment
  • Maybe just a few rashers for me Jimmy
  • No sausage?
  • Ah go on so,  sure I can work it off, but use the grill… no more fry ups Jimmy
  • I knew it was too good to be true…

 

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Calories

C 2018

  • Are you having a fry up Bernie?
  • Are you having a laugh Jimmy?
  • Why?
  • You know I’m on a diet
  • Don’t be ridiculous
  • Thanks for your support Jimmy
  • You don’t need to lose weight. You’re grand as you are
  • I’m not having a fry
  • A bleedin’ sausage isn’t going to kill you Bernie
  • Maybe if  you grill it
  • Grill my arse Bernie. I have the pan on. It’s fried or nothing
  • They do smell nice, and I am starving… and there’s probably not that many calories in one sausage… and…
  • Jaysis Bernie, are you having breakfast or not
  • Go on so Jimmy, seeing as you never cook, I’d feel bad if I didn’t
  • I’m not twisting your arm here am I?
  • Fuck it, throw on a rasher for me  as well
  • Right y’are Bernie
  • Sure I’ll have a salad for me tea
  • Lovely
  • I’ll butter the bread will I? One slice won’t kill me
  • Indeed it won’t.

smiling sausage

I don’t know if that sausage is disappointed or amused  :p