The Vote

Election 2016

  • Who was at de door love?
  • Some fella lookin’ for a vote
  • What did ye say to him
  • I told him to fuck off
  • Dat was a bit rude Jimmy
  • He’s lucky I didn’t belt him one. Did he not see the sign on de door? ‘NO CANVASSERS’
  • Dey must be blind
  • He’s not the first one either, shower of gobshites
  • Who was he with?
  • Some bird with a clipboard
  • No, I mean what party was he with?
  • Fucked if I know Bernie
  • Did ye not ask him?
  • No
  • Why not?
  • Because I don’t give a shite who he’s with
  • Who ye votin’ for ?
  • I haven’t decided yet Ber
  • Think seriously now before ye cast yer vote Jimmy
  • Wha’?
  • Joan Burton said that
  • Joan Burton can ask me swiss roll
  • She’s right bu’
  • Since when did you take any notice of what Joan Burton says?
  • Since I haven’t a bleedin’ clue who I’m votin’ for
  • Sure they’re all a shower of wasters Ber
  • Enda Kenny bu’, he’s the worst
  • He’s a gobshite
  • I think it’s Enda story for him
  • It’s Michéall Martin then
  • That smarmy fucker?
  • Gerry Adams?
  • Ah no, that’s takin’ tings a bit too far Ber
  • Ah Jimmy, ye have te vote for someone
  • Definitely not the Green party. They ruined it for themselves the last time with their empty promises.
  • Sure don’t they all make empty promises
  • I like that Ronan chap who lives up de road
  • De one who’s posting photos of himself all over West Dublin on Facebook and you’ve to guess where he is?
  • The very man Ber. He’s all for small businesses. About time someone stood up for the self employed
  • And he’s going to deal with the shocking crime in Dublin. We need to feel safe in our homes Jimmy
  • We do Ber, we do
  • …and he has a sense of humour Jimmy. I like a man with a sense of humour.
  • Enda is out so Bernie
  • Enda de line for him I hope
  • …and Joan?
  • Gone for a Burton Jimmy

Don’t forget to vote tomorrow lads.




McGregor coinI’ve heard it all now


They’re talkin’ about puttin’ McGregors face on the euro coin

Who is?

Them gobshites up in Dáil Éireann

Fuck off Jimmy, are ye serious?

Deadly serious Bernie

Wouldn’t ye think that the year that’s in it, they’d be puttin’ Padraig Pearse or James Connolly on it

It’s a loada me bolix Ber

They haven’t a bleedin’ clue have they?

Sittin’ on their holes up in Leinster House after their Christmas holliers wonderin’ how to piss of the Irish public yet again

I wonder what bright spark came up with that idea?

They received a public petition

…and they’re takin’ it serious like? Who de fuck would take that serious?

Enda bleedin’ Kenny after a feed of pints and whiskey chasers in the Dáil bar I’d say

He’s some bleedin’ stockin’

Jaysis Ber. All them brave young men who died for this country in 1916 and they think a young fella who won a medal for a 13 second fight should go on  a coin to celebrate the centenary

They must be takin’ the piss Jimmy

No disrespect to McGregor or anything Ber. He’s a grand chap and he did well in Vegas but it really is takin’ the piss

Would his head even fit on it Jimmy?

It is quite big Bernie

Next you’ll be tellin’ me that Dustin the turkey is goin’ on the two euro coin

Nothin’ would surprise me anymore Ber… Nothin’.

Sure isn’t Leinster house full of turkeys making stupid decisions

True story Ber. True story