Clairvoyanto

Me pal Lynn persuaded me to go see a medium who was doing open readings in a pub. We got free tickets so I went along for the craic. Ma was dying to know all about it

  • I’m surprised you went to see a medium Bernie
  • Lynn asked me to go with her
  • So, how did it go?
  • It was a pile of shite to be honest ma
  • You’re just a skeptic Bernie, always were; always will
  • Lynn was hoping her da would get in touch
  • And did he?
  • No, of course he didn’t. It’s all a con
  • Well why did you go then?
  • Free tickets and a few pints, how could I refuse?
  • Fair enough, so  did anyone come to you from the other side then
  • Sure who’d come to me?
  • Your da maybe
  • We were in the Abberly Court ma. Da wouldn’t go there when he was alive, he’s hardly going to go when he’s dead now is he?
  • Fair enough, but what about your pal Sandra?
  • Not a sign of her ma
  • Aww, that’s a pity. You and her were so close Bernie
  • I still miss her
  • So maybe you were hoping she’d come through Bernie
  • I’d have been shocked if Sandra had come
  • Why?
  • I told you it was in the  Abberly  ma
  • So?
  • So…Sandra always said she wouldn’t be caught dead in that kip
  • I went to see a medium after your daddy died
  • Did you ma
  •  She told me he had difficulty breathing towards the end
  • Jaysis ma, what did you say to her?
  • ‘Obviously love’, says I to her…’he was fuckin’ dying. Everyone has difficulty breathing when they’re dying’
  • I bet she didn’t like that ma
  • No she didn’t
  • That one last night told  some poor woman her husband was very happy now since he passed, and the woman wasn’t a bit pleased
  • Why not?
  • ‘And why wouldn’ Anto be happy? fecking off leaving me with a load of bills and no mortgage protection’ she said ‘and tell him from me he’s a fucking bastard’
  • And did the husband answer her?
  • I dunno ma, I finished me drink and went to the pub next door to wait for Lynn who was still waiting to hear from her da
  • Why did you leave?
  • Because, I agree with me da and Sandra, the place is a kip, and I had a few visions of me own so I thought it best to leave early
  • What visions Bernie?
  • Visions of giving that so called medium a slap in the head ma…

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