Marilyn rang me ma then ma rang me …

• Bernie, is that you?
• Yeah.
• Are you sure?
• Who did you ring ma?
• Bernie.
• Well then?
• I thought you were Phil.
• Well I’m not Phil.
• You girls all sound the same to me.
• But you rang me.
• You can never be too sure.
• Right, whatever. Anyway, what’s up ma?
• Did you hear about, Eliza?
• Marilyn’s daughter? What about her?
• She told her mother she was going to the dentist, and she never came home.
• Oh my god, ma. Did she ring the police?
• She did, they said she’s over eighteen and can’t be declared missing for 24 hours.
• Poor Mar, she must be gone demented.
• Marilyn rang the dentist and he said she had no appointment with him.
• Did she tell the police that?
• She did. Poor woman was made a fool of.
• How do you mean?
• Turns out, Eliza was at the dentist alright… in Lanzarote.
• Are you serious? And she never told her mother?
• She said she told her, but you know Marilyn, she only ever half listens to you.
• Too busy playing those games on Facebook.
• I know, she only heard Eliza saying she was going to the dentist, she never thought for a minute she was travelling to one abroad.
• And did she not wonder why she was bringing a suitcase to the dentist with her?
• I don’t know who’s dozier, Marilyn or her daughter.
• They’re as bad as each other, and I wouldn’t mind, Eliza has beautiful teeth. I don’t know why she’s going to these foreign dentists.
• Ma, she wasn’t going to Lanzarote to go to the dentist.
• Why was she going then?
• A holiday obviously.
• Then why lie to her mother?
• I’m sure she told her mother the truth, but she needed an essential reason for travelling or else she wouldn’t have been allowed out of the country.
• That’s shocking.
• I know, this virus has us doing crazy shit.
• What about her spreading the virus but?
• This is Eliza we’re talking about, ma. She doesn’t give a shite about anyone but herself.
• I hope she doesn’t put Mar at risk when she decides to come home.
• She’ll be tested at the airport, she’ll be grand.
• Oh that’s something at least.
• I wouldn’t mind getting me own teeth done actually.
• Make an appointment with Dr. Burke.
• I don’t actually need my teeth done ma.
• You wouldn’t…
• I’m only joking ma.

Still…