Sooooo, I had a great chat with Julie last night. I had no xanax or wine, and I slept grand. You just can’t beat a long chat and a few laughs with your friends to cheer you up. I felt like a new loo this morning, then, Kylie came down and started winding me up…

• So, have you got over yourself this morning then?
• Excuse me?
• You were on a mad one last night looking for drugs.
• I wasn’t looking for drugs, I was looking for a little relaxer.
• Drugs.
• Shut up you and go back to your pit.
• It’s 12.30.
• 12.30 is the middle of the night for you and Koko.
• You’re always moaning at me to get up early, and now I’m up you’re telling me to go back to bed. Make up your mind will you.
• This isn’t early. It’s lunchtime.
• Would you listen to yourself? You’re up before noon for the first time in weeks and all of a sudden you’re Kris Jenner.
• Don’t exaggerate.
• Next you’ll be doing cardio workouts at sunrise.
• That’s not a bad idea actually.
• Leave it out ma. The last time you saw the sunrise, you were on your way to bed.
• Well, I’m thinking of changing my lifestyle. Since my brush with death…
• Oh here we go again “I had the corona virus you know” I swear to god you’re getting more like me nanny every day.
• That’s harsh.
• It’s also true.
• I’ve told your da to get my treadmill out of the garage.
• I thought you sold that in the car boot sale?
• Oh yeah. I was wondering what was taking him so long out there.
• You’ll just have to do it old school.
• What?
• Get your runners on and go outside.
• It’s freezing cold out, and it’s raining, and I’m not allowed go outside the 2 kilometre limit.
• As if you’d get as far as 2 kilometre. Don’t make me laugh.
• You’re no Gwyneth Paltrow yourself, Kylie.
• I’m not the one who said I was changing my lifestyle,ma.
• No fear of that, but you and Koko would want to start getting a bit of exercise, and cut down on the booze.
• Now, you sound like me da. So you’re off the drink now are you?
• I never said that.
• I thought not. I heard you talking to Julie last night. “Sometimes you just need to go out and get shitfaced”.
• You shouldn’t be ear wigging on my private conversations.
• I wasn’t ear wigging, I could hear you from the attic, and Julie was just as loud.”If we can’t go out and get shit faced, let’s stay in and get shit faced”.
• We’ve organised a Zoom party with the girls tonight.
• Oh good luck with that change of lifestyle.
• Don’t be a smart arse.
• I’ve seen you and your mates when you get together. You put the real housewives of Beverly Hills to shame.
• Yeah, they are lightweights.
• Which of them said “I don’t have a drinking problem, I have a drinking solution”.
• That would be me.
• I’m delighted you’re back to yourself ma, now, I’m going back to bed, so I’ll see you tomorrow.
• Oh, are you getting up early again?
• I’ll probably pass you on the stairs on your way up.

She may be right…