Fruit #AtoZ Challenge

~ Diary of a Dublin housewife

F 2018

  • What’s for dessert ma?
  • There’s fruit in the bowl there
  • Fruit? Fruit isn’t a dessert
  • Yes it is
  • Yeah, apples are…if they’re in a pie, or bananas if they’re in a Bannoffi, peaches, if they’re in a cobbler, or blueberries if they’re in muffins
  • Will you stop listing off cakes and pies
  • But…
  • But nothing. I’m on a diet
  • Well, we’re not
  • So you expect me to make pies and desserts for you and I can’t eat them?
  • Yeah
  • You’re all a shower of selfish feckers you know that?
  • Why?
  • Not one of you have shown me a bit of support since I started this diet
  • I ate your Easter egg
  • Oh you’re all heart Jason
  • Well I didn’t make you a fry up on your first day, like me da did
  • That’s because you’re a lazy shite
  • There’s just no pleasing you ma.
  • You can please me by shutting up about food while I’m having a bowl of cabbage soup for me dinner
  • That looks disgusting ma
  • It IS disgusting
  • Why do you punish yourself like this? Will I get you a piece of lasagne, it’s gorgeous
  • NO, I’M ON A DIET….HOW MANY BLEEDIN’ TIMES DO YOU HAVE TO BE TOLD
  • Jaysis ma, keep your hair on, I was trying to be nice
  • Sorry son
  • You always get narky when you’re hungry
  • D’ye blame me? With you lot getting on me nerves
  • Is there even any Vienetta?
  • Are you actually serious?
  • I’m only asking
  • Get out of me sight will you. I’m trying to drink me dinner
  • Alright, calm down
  • There’s a tub of Ben and Jerry’s in the freezer
  • Nice one
  • Take it up to your room…don’t let me even see it
  • Here, have a kiwi and a few grapes ma, fill you up…
  • GET OUT!

kiwis and grapes

 

I can’t cope anymore…

 

10 thoughts on “Fruit #AtoZ Challenge”

  2. That really made me smile. I have to agree… fruit just really isn’t a dessert. But you already knew that. 🙂 Actually, my grandmother used to make a fruit in jello “salad” with nuts and a dollop of whipped cream on top. That was kind of desserty…
    Visiting from the A to Z Blogging Challenge!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. Reminder: you’re entitled, in a murder proceeding, to a jury of your peers. This means they’d have to find a batch of twelve starving, unappreciated women—who would never convict after hearing those ungrateful cretins asked you to bake them a damned pie.

    Like

    Reply

  4. Hang in there Bernie ! You can have pie later . In the meanwhile fruit is a good dessert especially the low glycemic ones like pears, apples and melons. The French I know are famous for their pineapple diet which many women embark on soon after Christmas. As for Banoffee pie – AVOID IT LIKE THE PLAGUE .

    Like

    Reply

Leave a comment