Waiting for a lift home from the Bingo…Sure you may as well be waiting for Brad Pitt…
- Heya Bernie, are you waiting for Jimmy to pick you up?
- No, Brad Pitt Breda
- Aren’t we all Bern? aren’t we all?
- He tried to pick me up once you know
- In your dreams Bernie
- He wasn’t always only in me dreams
- Yeah right
- 1996 it was
- Seriously ? Where?
- In The Black Lion in Inchicore
- What was Brad Pitt doing in Inchicore Ber?
- He was making that movie ‘The Devils Own’
- Wasn’t he with Gwyneth Paltrow back then?
- Jealous wagon
- Really? Why?
- ‘Cos he told me I was beautiful
- Brad Pitt said you were beautiful?
- ..and why are you looking so surprised?
- .Brad Pitt like Ber…
- ‘Hello beautiful’ he said
- No way…and what did you say?
- ‘Hello yourself’ I said
- Is that it? I thought you said he tried to pick you up?
- Well he would’ve only the Gwyneth one came over ‘Your pint is here Brad’ says she and dragged him off into a corner
- You’re right Ber…jealous wagon.
- I know. He kept looking over and smiling at me. ‘He fancies you’ said Julie to me
- Jaysis Bernie. Imagine, Brad Pitt fancying ye
- She was disgusted
- Who Julie?
- No Gwyneth. If looks could kill, I’d be brown bread
- I’d say she was Bernie. Wouldn’t you be?
- You’d want to see the dirty looks she gave me when I smiled back. Very possessive she was, kept rubbing his face and running her fingers through his hair
- It’s more than his face I’d be rubbing Bernie
- You’re such a durtburd Breda, but I know what you mean
- So, what happened then?
- He winked at me when she was whispering in his ear. Jaysis, me belly was doing the tango
- Did she see him winking at you?
- She must have. they were sitting right across from us.Me and Julie were sitting at the bar having a ham sambo and a bowl of soup.
- Was that it?
- Ah no we had a pint as well
- I mean, is that all that happened with Brad?
- No, he came over when they were leaving. He looked at my wedding ring when I lifted my spoon to drink my soup and he said ‘Why are all the beautiful girls taken?’
- Oh scarlet for ye Bernie, and what did you say?
- Well I wanted to say ‘give us your number love and I’ll call ye when me divorce comes through, but Gwynnie gave me the evils again and pushed him through the door. I never saw him again…well except in the movies
- Imagine you and Brad Bernie
- His loss Breda. But Brads not the type to break up someone else’s marriage
- No, just his own Bernie. Poor Jennifer
- Yeah, I like Jen
- Would you have been #BerBrad #BradBer or #Bradnie?
- It would have to be #BradBer. Bradnie sounds like an arthiritic knee Breda, and BerBrad sounds like he’s in his nip.
- Oooh lovely
- Bare Brad yeah I could handle that
- Did you tell Jimmy?
- He thought it was hilarious
- What, that Brad Pitt fancied you?
- That I fancied Brad. Jimmy thinks Brad is a wanker
- Touch of the green eye there Ber
- In fairness he thinks Pierce Brosnan is a wanker as well, and I don’t even like Pierce Brosnan
- I think Pierce is a ride meself
- I thought so too until I saw him in Mama Mia. Jaysis, what was he thinking?
- Yeah, he was shite in that alright
- Shocking altogether. At least Brad never made a show of himself in a movie
- What about ‘Snatch’ Bernie? That accent…jaysis
- Oh yeah, forgot about that one…Hilarious
- Is that your phone ringing ?
- Yeah, hang on. Jaysis, there’s so much shite in this handbag I can’t find it
- Hurry up will ye. It might be Brad.
- I am hurrying, jaysis, hold on to your knickers will ye, ah feck it’s stopped ringing now. I hope he rings me back because I’ve no credit
- Was it Jimmy?
- Colin Farrell. I told him I’m married but he still keeps ringing me
- Does Jimmy like Colin Farrell?
- No, he thinks he’s a little bolix. Ah look it’s ringing again, hold on…’howya Brad, where are ye? Any sign of Angelina?… No way, ah she’s probably stuck for a babysitter…right so, see ye in a bit. Love you too hun. Bye, byebyebyebye
- Jimmy?
- Yeah, he’s waiting around the corner, couldn’t get parking
- I couldn’t see Brad picking you up from Bingo could you Ber?
- He’d be good with the kids but Breda
- That’s not what Angelina says
- Don’t mind her, she should have stuck with Billy Bob
- #JimBer or #Berjim Bernie?
- #BerJim of course
- Pass the sick bucket Bernie
Eat your heart out Brangelina
Brilliant! I’m smiling at the PC like a weirdo …
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😂😛😛
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Hahaha… this was so funny. I think all your conversations should be turned into a sitcom!
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Ah imagine. No way Angelina is playing me though…and Gwynnie hates me. I wonder if Jen might be interested😝😝😘😘
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Heeheehee! It could only happen to you!
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His loss but 😜
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Hehehe… love it. I agree, this should be turned into a sitcom… But of course you might struggle to get the ladies on board 😉
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That won’t be a problem. I’ll give Sharon a call. She’d be delighted to play me. No dirty scenes but, like in that Basic Instinct movie.
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Ha, yes! She’s still hot…
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Sure she’d have to be, sure she’d be playing me!! haha :p
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Missed you.
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Aww did you? Anyway I’m back wth a bang. Lots of shenanigans over the summer. Watch this space Beth xx
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Brilliant! Love this.
Glad to see ya back!
*hoists a pint and toasts*
😎
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Cheers 🍺🍺🍺😀 Good to be back 😀
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