Door knobs and Broomsticks

Jimmy hates Hallowe’en so I knew when we were invited to the party last Saturday he wouldn’t go. Ye can’t blame a girl for tryin’ but can ye?


Are you dressin’ up for this party or wha’ Jimmy?

I am in me hole Bernie.

But it’s a fancy dress party Jimmy, you have to.

I said I’m not dressin’ up, end of story.

You’re such a dry shite sometimes Jimmy Violet.

What? ‘Cos I won’t put on a bleedin’ mask or wear a woman’s dress?

You don’t have to wear a mask, although it would be an improvement.

Very funny Bernie, you’re bleedin’ hilarious.

It’s only a bit of fun, why can’t ye dress up?

Dressin’ up is for kids

Well you’re a big kid at the best of times so what’s the big deal?

I said I’m not dressin’ up and makin’ a gobshite out of meself  Bernie, now leave it out will ye.

You’d make a great dracula Jimmy.

What makes you say that Bernie?

Because you’re such a pain in the bleedin’ neck.

I’ll just go to the pub then and you can  go to the party without me.

Stop bein’ such a bleedin’ spoon Jimmy,everyone will be asking where you are.

Just tell them I’m at the bar

But they’ll see you’re not at the bar

Tell them I’m dressed up as the Invisible Man then.

Even your brother is dressin’ up

Anto? Sure that fella is nuttier than a squirrels shite.

No. Ray I mean. He’s goin’ as an American football player.

Fair balls to him

Are you really not comin’?

No, but I’ll give you a lift as far as Julies. We can’t have you walkin’ down the road frightenin’ all the kids can we?

I’m not gettin’ dressed up until I get to Julies.

I know Bernie.

Fuck off Jimmy. I’ll make me own way.

Grand. I’ll just get your broomstick from under the stairs for ye.

You’re such a door knob Jimmy Violet.

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