Jimmy got some bad news down the pub last night. He was a bit upset when he came home
- You’ll never guess who’s dead Bernie
- Who
- Guess
- I don’t know
- You’ll never guess
- Well tell me then
- Just guess tho’
- Why do you always do this
- Do what
- Turn everything into a guessing game. Just bleedin’ tell me
- But just guess
- Elvis
- Ah fuck off Bernie .Everyone knows Elvis is dead
- Michael Jackson
- You’re messin’ Bernie
- Clint Eastwood
- No, it’s someone we know
- I know Clint
- Clint Eastwood isn’t dead Bernie, and you don’t know him
- Oh, I’m thinking of Barney Eastwood
- You don’t know him either
- Well just tell me then. Do I know them
- Of course you know them. I wouldn’t be asking you to guess if you didn’t know them
- Give us a clue
- He drinks down the pub
- Everyone we know drinks down the pub Jimmy
- It’s a man
- Jack Byrne
- No
- Paul Duggan
- No
- I give up, tell me
- Shaymo Lawlor
- No way
- Yeah way. I knew you’d never guess
- He’s only your age Jimmy
- I know, scary isn’t it
- I thought you were going to say one of the aul lads from the back bar
- Gods waiting room ye mean
- You’re terrible Jimmy
- Sure jaysis, they’re all half dead Bernie, and there’s Shaymo fit as a fiddle, cut down in his prime
- Not that fit Jimmy, he’s dead
- That’s brutal
- Aww, poor Shaymo. How did it happen
- Massive heart attack on the golf course
- That’s shocking
- I know. This is why I never took up golf Bernie. You’re always hearing of chaps kicking the bucket on the golf course
- You never took up golf because you said it’s boring
- Well that as well
- It’s hardly a strenuous sport like
- It’s more of a social sport
- Like snooker ye mean
- There’s nothing wrong with snooker
- I never said there was
- You were being smart Bernie. I played football in me day
- I know. Sure didn’t I spend most of me Saturdays off standing on the sidelines cheering you on Jimmy
- You did Ber, you did. Those were the days
- You were a great footballer in your day love
- What do you mean, in my day? I can still kick a football
- I’m sure you can
- I’m not dead yet
- Look at poor Shaymo, he could kick a football too Jimmy
- He’s kicked the bucket now Ber. Poor sod, never knew what hit him. I’d like to go like that.
- But you don’t play golf Jimmy
- I mean ,out with the lads, having the craic
- I thought he was on the golf course
- Well he was having a few pints at the nineteenth hole, same thing
- So it wasn’t the golf that killed him
- Golf doesn’t kill ye Bernie
- It does if you get hit hard enough in the head by a golf ball
- That’s shocking Bernie. The poor chap is barely cold and you’re making jokes
- Ah sorry Jimmy
- Ah, I’m only messin’, Shaymo would have thought it was funny
- Shaymo was very fond of the beer. I’d say that didn’t do him any favours health-wise
- Nothing wrong with a few pints Bernie
- A few yeah, but no need to go mad
- Look who’s talking. I’ve seen you skull more than a few when you’re with the girls
- Not every night tho’ Jimmy. Shaymo was down that pub every night
- He liked the banter with the lads.
- …and the beer
- Sure that’s the whole point of going the pub Bernie…beer and banter
- You’ll be drinking in Gods waiting room soon
- I will in me arse.
- You won’t be taking up golf then
- No way. I’ll stick to me snooker for now. Golf is too dangerous
- It’s all balls to me Jimmy
- That’s harsh Bernie
R.I.P. Shaymo
I love your conversations with Jimmy! Poor old Shaymo. At least he didn’t have the indignity of ending up in ‘God’s Waiting Room!’
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It’s actually good craic in there! I think they’re all so delighted to be able to get out for a pin whenever they liket now most of their wives are dead…haha. I’ve had a few in there meself 🙂
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Ha ha!! Good on you! 🙂
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My sympathy for the loss of your friend, and it makes me crazy when i’m asked to guess like that, too!
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