X Factor


  • That Simon Cowell is an awful gobshite Bernie
  • I like him
  • How can you like him?
  • He’s gorgeous
  • D’ye think?
  • Ye, his eyes crinkle up when he smiles
  • I’d say his arse does too Bernie
  • No need for that Jimmy
  • Does he never get sick wearing the same tee shirt but?
  • It’s not the same tee shirt. He has loads of them
  • How do you know?
  • I just know
  • Them trousers though Ber, if they were up any higher they’d be around his bleedin’ neck
  • He obviously likes them like that. Just because you wear yours hanging off your arse doesn’t mean he has to
  • I do not
  • You give builders bum a bad name when you bend over
  • You’re very critical Bernie. I’m sorry I’m not as fit as your Simon
  • He’s not my Simon. I just like him that’s all
  • He’s very harsh on some of them poor young ones
  • He’s honest. They know what they’re letting themselves in for when they audition
  • But still Bernie, he could be a bit more human
  • Some of them eejits shouldn’t sing in the shower never mind on national TV.
  • They make the show. It would be boring if they were all great singers
  • So you agree most of them are shite?
  • Some of them are
  • Simon just says it like it is. I like a man that’s straight like that. No bullshit
  • Simon says…will you get a grip Bernie
  • You get a grip Jimmy
  • That Cheryl Cole is a fine thing though
  • She’s not called Cheryl Cole anymore
  • What’s she called then?
  • Cheryl Ann Fernandez-Versini
  • That’s a mouthful
  • It sure is
  • Why is she not a Cole anymore
  • She got divorced
  • That fuckin eejit divorced her?
  • She divorced him
  • Why? Were they not getting on?
  • He did the dirt on her
  • Fuckin’ gobshite. Imagine doing the dirt on a lovely young one like her
  • Well he did and now she’s not Cole anymore. Anyway, her new hubby is a fine thing
  • She’s  a fine thing
  • She’s alright
  • She’s bleedin’ gorgeous
  • If that’s the type you go for I suppose
  • I’d go for her alright
  • You could be her father
  • Ah stop ruining it Bernie
  • Ruining what? She’s hardly going to give up her life and run away with you
  • And Simon would for you?
  • I wouldn’t want him to
  • Would you not?
  • Why would I?
  • Ah Bernie, I always knew you were a one man woman
  • One man is more than enough Jimmy, believe me
  • And I’m man enough Bernie
  • You’ve got the whole package
  • If you’ve got it, you’ve got it, it doesn’t matter how old you are
  • Simon said that
  • Good man Simon. You’ve got the X Factor
  • …and a lovely smile
  • …and an arse that crinkles when you smile
  • You’re an awful gobshite Jimmy
  • And Simon’s got the arse factor

Give me patience!

11 thoughts on “X Factor

  1. I go back further than A. So glad you like my blog. I will hop over to visit yours as soon as I finish y and z and make Jimmy’s dinner. Thank god for may when I can have a rest and he fucks off to Galway for a weekend with the lads 😞


  2. I am growing to like Jimmy, more and more with each post even though he quietly and I suspect, unknowingly , raises the bar for the rest of us. With Bernie’s hand on the “tiller” there are no limits to where this story may take us. Drive on Bernie!

    Liked by 1 person

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