Next doors dog keeps escaping into our garden and leaving little ‘messages’

Jimmy is not impressed…

• That dog’s done a shite in our garden again
• Ah poor Sunny
• Sunny my arse
• Poor Alison doesn’t get out much to bring him for a walk, he just comes in for a change of scenery
• He comes in here to do his business and then leaves
• I’ll bring him out for a walk for her later
• It’s a bit late, he’s already shit on me roses
• Sure that’s like fertiliser isn’t it?
• He’s not a bleedin cow Bernie
• Poo is poo isn’t it?
• Dog shite is toxic
• Ah no way. I’m not having that. I’ll have to talk to Alison
• How is the fucker getting in? that’s what I want to know
• There’s a gap in the fence, that’s how he’s getting in
• There’s a gap in his arse, that’s how it’s getting out
• Oh just mend the gap then
• I’ll mend his gap
• Just do something temporary, put up a piece of wood  until we can get the fence repaired
• I’ll give him a temporary foot up his swiss roll if he does it again
• Ah leave him alone Jimmy

Who says it’s a dogs life ?